And So This is Hanukah       [Christina Ricci,  12.04.1999]

Announcer: ...and tonight, following the Howard Stern radio show, it's an all-new holiday music special: And So This Is Hanukah! Come celebrate the Jewish festival of lights with your favorite musical stars singing your favorite Hanukah songs. Including Lou Bega performing his hit single "Hanukah No. 5."

Tracy Morgan is Lou Bega: A little bit of Hanukah in my life,

A little bit of Dreidel by my side,
A little bit of Geltz is all I need,
A little bit of Maccabees is what I see,

Announcer: It's the greatest Hanukah music special ever! With appearances by: Dr. Dre, Andrea Bocelli, KoRn, 98 Degrees, Amy Grant, Master P, Waylon Jennings, and Blink 182, featuring an original Hanukah ballad sung by Tori Amos.

Molly Shannon is Tori Amos: (the entire song, Tori appears to be having sex with her piano stool; she is humping it violently and moaning the entire time she is singing!) (sung to the tune of "Silent All These Years")

Excuse me but can I be a Jew for a while,
You get to celebrate Hanukah which lasts eight nights,
You get a lot more presents than you do for Christmas, but then again,
You can't eat pork.
Ahhh. And it's been years...
Kosher all these years go by and I still feel Jewish... ahhhh, oooh!

Announcer: You won't want to miss this sexy Hanukah ballad performed by D'Angelo.

Tim Meadows is D'Angelo: Let me tell you 'bout this girl,
Maybe I shouldn't,
I met her in Brooklyn and we ate potato latkas.
Hanukah baby,
I get high off your love
Tell me what's Menorah,
I want your Hanukah push, I want your Hanukah push, I want your Hanukah push.

Announcer: This all-star Hanukah musical salute includes never-before-seen footage of Bing Crosby and David Bowie performing the classic "Little Dreidel Boy."

Chris Parnell is Bing Crosby: Mr. Babababoowie, how about you and me sing a little holiday tune for the Hebrews?

Jimmy Fallon is David Bowie: Whatever you want, Bing.

Together: I had a little dreidel rum-pa-pum pum,
I made it out of clay pa- rum-pa pum pum,
Rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum
(still singing)

Bowie:Why am I singing
With Bing Crosby?

Crosby:We're not Jewish.

Bowie: This is messed up.

Announcer: With an inspirational Hanukah prayer by Britney Spears, Mariah Carey and Celine Dion!

Christina Ricci is Britney Spears: Okay, ya'll! Chanukah is a special holiday when we as Christians take time out to think about forgiving our Jewish friends ...for killin' our Lord. Oh, and on December 12th, I'll be appearing at Six Flags over at Tulsa. Amen!

Cheri Oteri is Mariah Carey: Um, Hanukah is a time to celebrate what we um have as individuals. In my case I celebrate my great hair, my great ass, and the great right side of my face. (struts off stage)

Ana Gasteyer is Celine Dion: (heavy french accent) To all my Jewish friend back home in Quebec, I would just like to say, "Schweyah Hanukah!" Not bad, eh? Uh? Pretty good,huh? You know, I will never forget the time I ask my mutter, What is Hanuakh? And she say, Celine, it's a holiday clebrated by peoples who own all the movie studio and da banks. You go girlfriend! Uh? Pretty good, eh?

Announcer: It's classic Jewish holiday music performed by singers who are all represented by Jewish management, including: Kid Rock, Shania Twain, Creed, Terrence Trent Darby, and Dixie Chicks. Along with your favorite Latino Hanukah song performed by Ricky Martin!

Chris Kattan is Ricky Martin: Woke up in New York City next door to a bagel shop,
What is the Hanukah dreidel? Hebrew word for spinning top,
You eat potato pancakes for eight days and eight nights,
So come and celebrate this holy Festival of Lights!
Upside insde out, let's all dance the hora,
Happy Hanukah, C'mon light menorah,
Gotta gotta gotta go read the Torah!

Announcer: And So This is Hanukah, presented by CBS and Target. It dont get more Jewish than that!


this skit had most of the cast in it; they're listed as they appear in the skit.