Monologue      [12.04.1999,  Christina Ricci]

SNL Band Plays

Enter Christina

Christina: Thank you very much. Thank you. I'm really happy to be hosting Saturday Night Live.

Crowd keeps yelling

C: (yelling) Thanks! I'm really happy to be hosting Saturday Night Live. I've been a big fan of the show since I was little. My parents used to let me stay up and watch the original cast: David Spade, Adam Sandler, Tim Meadows... Yeah, they were awesome! And now I'm hosting. I can't believe it. I've never been in front of a live audience before. I've been making movies since I was eight. Well actually, my sister and I made movies, because when you're a child actor, you're not allowed to work a full day. So I used to share all my parts with my twin sister Fatina. So in Mermaids and The Addams Family, that's only half of me. The other half of the time it was my twin. She's here tonight; Fatina, come up here. She never gets any credit, but she is my other half.

Fatina walks on stage. She is wearing the same outfit as Christina. They look a lot alike.

Fatina: Hi, hi, I'm Fatina Ricci.

C: I would do all the scenes with dialogue...

F: And I did all the scenes that were from far away, or where the character is sleeping, or if the character was getting hit by a car.

C: When we got old enough to work a full day, we tried to do the Olsen twins thing and work as a duo. We made one TV movie called The Great Marmalade Caper: A Ricci Twins Mystery.

F: Here's a clip!

Clip begins. C and F are in overalls and pigtails, with skateboards in tow. Every time Christina has a line, Fatina mouths the words along with her, casting furtive glances at the camera.

C: Old lady Mackis must have hidden that marmalade somewhere. I'll look in Winny's garage, you look down by the creek.

F: We've got to find the key I know. Where it might be! Christina let's hurry. I'm scared.

End clip.
C: After that we decided as a family that um.. only I would continue acting.

F: I work at a dry- cleaners.

C: And we're both very happy.

F: Oppy- hoppy oobie da!

C: Hold on, she's talking to me in our secret twin language. Hooby gooby galala?

F: Flibby gooby gooby raggy shogy.

C: She says she's actually not very happy, she hates her life, and she's very jealous.

F: Flig flog flo flu!

C: Okay! I'll tell you what. I'll let you tell them about the show. (to audience) Would that be alright with you if Fatina finished the monologue?

Crowd cheers.

F: We have got a great show. Tonight for you Beck! Is here. So stick around, we'll be black!

C: Stick around, we'll be right back.



Fatina Ricci-
           Rachel Dratch