sounds                                  Listen (64k wav) The Delicious Dish Terry: I'm feeling a little bit tipsy, Margaret Jo. Margaret Jo: I'm totally wasted. Listen (17k wav) Martha Stewart: Now that's a sweet piece of ass! Listen (119k wav) The View Debbie Matenopolous: I think it's just wrong.. Impotency is God's way of telling people, "Hey, stop having sex, you look nasty!" Am I right? Barbara Walters: No one wants you here! Listen (53k wav) Welcome to All Things Scottish. Our slogan is "If it's not Scottish it's CRAP!" Listen (49k wav) Church Lady: Could it be... SATAN?!? Listen (18k wav) Ted Kacysinki: I ate my own poop last night. Matt Foley Listen (113k wav) Store Manager: Listen, Matt, you're gonna have to pay for these damages. Matt: Well that's no problemo. Just send the bill to Matt Foley care of VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER! Listen (88k wav) Matt: You're not gonna amount to JACK SQUAT! Listen (15k wav) Alex Trebek: And you're an idiot. Listen (68k wav) Dog Show theme Listen (27kb wav) Ladies' Man: Now uh, medically speaking, just how dinky is your wang? Listen "I own-- I own a Dodge Stratus!"